


incorrect nct stories

by n_kei



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2019-07-06 17:56:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15891114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n_kei/pseuds/n_kei
Summary: A collection of Canon AU stories.





	1. insecurities

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter is a separate story. Heed to the beginning of each chapter for the applicable warnings/tags. If you underaged or not mature enough to handle adult themes, please hit the back button. Thanks <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's as obvious as the dimples on his cheeks that Jaehyun is passively avoiding physical contact with Taeyong.
> 
> Additional tags: Insecurities, platonic, fluff, cuddles, squint for romance

“I can’t figure you out.”

Jaehyun has his back turned against Taeyong. He sucks in a breath and replies quietly, “What do you mean?”

The door quietly shuts behind them.

The other members are in their respective rooms after another long day of practice and performance. But since it’s promotion time for NCT Dream, Donghyuck and Mark have been staying at the Dream dorm, making sure to keep their relationship as tight and as impenetrable by even the slightest doubt.

Which means there finally isn’t a convenient excuse, an easy out that Jaehyun has been taking whenever Taeyong came remotely close to him.

Taeyong narrows his eyes. “It’s hot and cold with you. There is no consistency. You don’t do this with anyone else- and I mean anyone else. And it’s never happened before. Why do avoid me?”

Jaehyun turns around, a polite smile he’s practiced a hundred times over pulling at his lips. “You’re thinking too much. We still talk and joke around, it’s just that there are more of us now so it feels different-“

Taeyong shakes his head furiously, taking two steps forward. “I thought so too, at the beginning. It’s a new dynamic, with the eighteen of us. But hasn’t changed even after the NCT2018 promotions. We’ve-”

“We haven’t had the time to rest since the promotions.” Jaehyun gently reminds with a wry smile.

It’s true. They’ve not let the ball drop since the beginning of 2018, keeping up with and going beyond their dance and vocal training post performances. They’ve made the promise with each other that they’ll always put their best foot forward. They’re young and capable. If not now, it’s never.

But it’s a double-edged sword, in some ways. The tiredness shows in the quiet hours of the day, when Donghyuck cuddles up between Mark and Johnny, stealing their heat before a 127 photoshoot. When Taeil walks way past their building door in the wee hours of the morning after an NCTU practice, only to be pulled back by a concerned Doyoung. He apologizes quietly while rubbing his eyes behind silver wire frames, and Doyoung and Jungwoo shake their heads with matching tired smiles. Even Ten is less perky, which becomes more apparent in the wee hours in the morning, because flights and self expectations have been stressing him out.

There are more debuts and performances on the way, more commercials and reality and radio shows. It’s only just begun but it feels like everyone’s been working tirelessly for years and years.

The intensity in Taeyong’s eyes flicker slightly, shadowed by a sense of worn understanding. “I know. I just thought-“

Taeyong sucks in a deep breath, controlling his emotions. He bites his lip and carefully measures his words before saying them. Jaehyun watches the conflict flit through his eyes and look away. He shouldn’t read Taeyong this well.

“Look, I just thought that there was some kind of misunderstanding between us, and I want to address it before the year is over.” Taeyong says finally. “We’ve been so busy with our schedules, as a group and individually. I know we haven’t had time to rest, but I also know you’ve experienced worse things, like whether we’ll actually debut or not, so it’s not about work. At least, I don’t think it is.”

Taeyong holds Jaehyun’s gaze for a beat, then Jaehyun looks down, too overwhelmed by the raw display of concern he sees.

Neither speak for a while.

Taeyong takes another step forward, and this time, Jaehyun instinctively takes one back.

Taeyong pauses, glancing at Jaehyun. “If you don’t want to talk about this right now, it’s fine. I don’t want to force you into a corner either, I just thought-“

“I know. As a leader, you’re bound to these obligations- making sure the team runs as efficiently and as smoothly as possible.” Jaehyun fills in, unable to stop the bitterness from seeping into his tone.

Taeyong’s eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean? Isn’t that the responsibility of every member?”

Jaehyun sighs loudly and breaks the tension by taking a seat on his bed. “It is, but it’s not the same. You should know that.”

The look Jaehyun shoots at Taeyong isn’t one full of contempt. Not quite. But there is a weary bitterness that Taeyong’s never seen from the other man before, not in the 6 years they’ve known each other for. But then again, they were both so young. Complications don’t normally rear their ugly heads until much later.

“It’s a mess. I believe in our vision, we’re always at the forefront of the music and performance industry, pushing hard so that our voices are heard, but it’s a mess.” Jaehyun says quietly, hanging his head.

It’s hard to admit that what you’re doing isn’t appreciated in the way you want to. It’s even harder to admit failure, especially when you’ve debut at one of the “Big 3”. Besides the fact that each group before NCT has left big shoes to fill, the industry is as convoluted and as competitive as ever. Without SM, NCT may not have lasted this long. Taeyong is well aware of this.

He settles on Donghyuck’s bed across from Jaehyun, their feet bump into each other as he stretches his legs. Jaehyun pulls his legs back.

“I know. But I still believe in us.” Taeyong says quietly.

“As do I. But the rest of the world don’t seem to understand what we’re doing.” Jaehyun mumbles.

Taeyong smiles wryly. “Give it time. The listeners will mature and grow. It’s not about the immediate response, we need to have faith that our music, our stories are told and presented in the best way possible.”

Jaehyun sighs loudly again. Taeyong’s legs extend a little more and his foot bumps into Jaehyun’s foot. Jaehyun tucks his legs under him completely.

A pause.

Jaehyun quickly looks up and sees the pained look in Taeyong’s downcast eyes.

“You’re doing this intentionally, you know.” There is a forced lightness to Taeyong’s voice, betraying the smile pulling at his lips.

A guilt curls around Jaehyun’s stomach.

“I stand by my words. You don’t need to explain yourself. I just thought that we could have an open conversation.” Taeyong mumbles. "I'll let you be, for now."

He makes for the door, shuffling across the floor as he does.

“Hyung.”

A larger hand catches Taeyong’s in a firm grip, but Taeyong doesn’t look back.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think I was being this obvious. I just.” Jaehyun takes a sharp breath behind him. “I’m going through some stuff. I need to work some things out.”

Taeyong frowns and twists around only to catch Jaehyun chewing at his bottom lip. The residue pinkness has him looking away again.

“Do you… want to talk about this?” Taeyong asks quietly.

Jaehyun considers the offer, then shakes his head. “I’m not sure what to say, to be honest.”

Jaehyun’s grip on Taeyong’s arm slips and his hand falls by his side. Taeyong’s eyes follow the movement, before looking at Jaehyun’s face again.

“I know you. You don’t exact your ill feelings to those who aren’t involved.” Taeyong starts, a familiar sadness filling inside his chest. “I really don’t know what I’ve done, but I know you have your reasons. I want to… have the chance to clarify myself, if it’s something I can clarify on.”

Jaehyun shakes his head before Taeyong finishes his sentence.

“I … didn’t think for us to scale so quickly.” He says quietly.

Taeyong tilts his head in question. “NCT is a limitless concept-“

Jaehyun looks up so suddenly that Taeyong is caught in liquid brown eyes, brimming with conflict. “I know. I mean, I’ve always known, but knowing and going through it are two different things. And- and the way that you’ve been working for each performance, perfecting your dances and making sure everyone is doing the same, being the leader and all. I just-“

A beat.

“Are you… worried for me?” Taeyong blinks owlishly.

Jaehyun huffs impatiently. “Of course I am. Everyone is. It’s not only that though. I’m worried, but I’m also…”

Jaehyun takes a deep breath.

“I find the distribution of work unfair, not for me, but for others.” He says in a hushed tone.

Taeyong stills from his spot on the bed.

“I know you work hard. I know you deserve this. I know NCT is an ever-growing group. I know there will be more joining us and we will, more likely than not, steal each other’s limelight. That’s also the nature of the entertainment industry. Even more so in the face-paced world of K-Pop, but I just can’t help but think that-“

“It’s unfair, this distribution of work and opportunity?” Taeyong’s finishes, voice empty.

Jaehyun meets Taeyong’s eyes and says, “…yes.”

There is a long pause. The laptop fan fills the room with a low hum.

It is never truly silent.

Taeyong's heart races at the implied accusation, but he knows Jaehyun doesn’t mean it that way. Jaehyun doesn’t understand what he’s implying or even if he does, he won’t know what Taeyong is feeling from this. He wouldn’t say that if he did.

“We pave our own ways, you know.” Taeyong says finally.

“I know.” Jaehyun nods, looking away.

“There are things beyond my control. I’m doing the best I can for our group, our brand.” Taeyong sucks in a deep breath, steadying his heartbeat. “I’m not trying to take opportunities away from anyone.”

“I know you’re not. That’s not what I mean to say.” Jaehyun falters, gesturing vaguely with his hands. “I just wished that we could all be here, creating music, performing, forging our own paths. I also wished that you wouldn’t have to shoulder everything. You’ve been too good for the company, for the fans-“

“It’s what I’m supposed to be.” Taeyong cuts in.

Jaehyun shakes his head. “It’s not a ‘supposed’ thing. There isn’t supposed to be a ‘supposed’. You’re allowed to choose-“

“We promised to be there for each other, we promised to to stick together.” Taeyong says, shaking his head. “I’m sticking by my words. I’m doing my best for everyone.”

“You’re not doing the best for yourself.” Jaehyun says, voice hushed and a little raw.

Taeyong shivers.

“There are paths for everyone. Maybe mine is to be this person, to walk this path.” He says softly, ignoring Jaehyun’s comment.

Jaehyun doesn’t reply.

Taeyong frowns, remembering. “Was this why you avoided me? You didn’t like that I was taking on all these responsibilities?”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “No. I… didn’t want to weigh you down.”

Taeyong takes a step forward, gathering Jaehyun’s hand in his. “Hey now-”

Jaehyun stubbornly refuses to meet Taeyong’s eyes, but his fingers slide in between Taeyong’s and his grip tightens. “I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. I have Johnny and the radio show. If I’m less on your plate, you’ll have one less thing to worry about.”

Jaehyun meets Taeyong’s gaze with such a determined glint, a small smile breaks from Taeyong’s face.

“I was never worried about you, not in that way.” The smile breaks into something more somber. “And here I thought you were pissed off at me. You should take it to the higher-ups.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “I wouldn’t have known that. You’re always moving between people, choreographing performances and making sure everyone is confident and comfortable before we perform. You’re always just- everywhere. You're always doing something. You’re too good at what you do.”

The small playful smile on Jaehyun’s face eases the tension in the room. Taeyong finally breathes into a genuine smile.

“Why are you blaming me? I see no fault to that. Like I said, bring it to the higher-ups, not me.”

Jaehyun snorts. “To be honest, I’ve thought about it. But I also know that these schedules are necessary.”

“Then you know where I’m coming from.” Taeyong breaks into a soft chuckle. “Ah, I see now. You were conflicted because you were worried for me, what a good dongsaeng you are.”

He reaches up to pet Jaehyun’s head, the way he always has, but Jaehyun catches his hand midway and lowers it, linking their fingers.

“It’s not just that, Yong.”

Taeyong’s eyes widen in surprise.

Then he remembers.

Towards the end of 2017 and Cherry Bomb promotions, there was a period when Jaehyun would routinely ask Taeyong to take a walk with him by the Han River. It was late at night, and their managers trusted that they wouldn’t run away or worse, mess up their diet.

So they would take those walks by themselves, reminiscing about the past, enthusing about the future. Taeyong has always known about 2018, and Jaehyun has an inkling, but because he’s been busy with NCT’s NightNight, he misses the group meetings, some of which entail the group’s future plans.

It lasted a few weeks. Eventually, they got busy with preparations for the Empathy album, winter came and along with it, an aggressive gust of snow and wind. The walks became non-existent.

It feels like a lifetime ago, only to be brought back by the touch of Jaehyun’s fingers between his.

“What?” Taeyong asks, eyes wide.

Jaehyun pauses in thought. Taeyong watches as his eyes move to his nose, lips, the dip where his baggy pyjama t-shirt falls on his collar, then back to his eyes.

“I’m here for you, okay?” Jaehyun finishes softly.

_…could it be._

Taeyong chews his lip as he scrambles to make sense of his thoughts and emotions. “Okay.” He stammers.

The air in the room feels stuffy again, but with a different weight that has Taeyong’s heart racing for all the different reasons. His hands grow clammy, and he begins to understand why people call it butterflies in your stomach, because he's feeling that, too.

“I should wash up.” He announces, trying to pull his hand away, but Jaehyun is quicker and takes a step towards him, following him.

“I’ll come with. I need to wash up too.” Jaehyun smiles softly and, after giving his fingers a comforting squeeze, slowly lets go.

They make their way to the bathroom which is by no means big, but comfortably fits two people. When they finish up and go back to their rooms, Jaehyun gently tugs at Taeyong's arm, stopping him again.

Taeyong turns back curiously, and Jaehyun tips his head towards his door. “Sleep here tonight?”

“I have my own bed, in my own room.” Taeyong answers automatically, looking away to hide his blush.

Jaehyun hums while nudging his shoulder against Taeyong’s. “Just for tonight?” When he sees Taeyong is about to decline again with a firm shake of his head, Jaehyun adds, “Johnny’s gone to the U dorms.”

Taeyong sighs and rubs his nape while taking a step back. “Ah, I’ve told them to not be so obvious. There are so many videos of them out there.” He chuckles wryly despite himself.

Then he meets Jaehyun’s eyes, who looks surprisingly guarded. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just don’t find anything wrong with that. They enjoy each other’s company a lot.” Jaehyun shrugs.

Taeyong’s eyes widen slightly. “O-of course, I meant nothing by that. I just-“

“Hyung, I know. I was just teasing.” Jaehyun smiles and, without missing a beat, pulls Taeyong into his room.

“Dude what-“

“Just share the room. I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.” Jaehyun smiles cheekily. “As a leader you should always take care of your members, right?”

It’s a lazy excuse, especially after the conversation they just had. But Taeyong feels his face heat up anyway, sighing loudly like Jaehyun’s request is an extreme inconvenience. “I guess I have no choice.”

Taeyong climbs into Donghyuck’s bed while Jaehyun turns off the lights, then slips under his own blankets.

The AC kicks on, and Taeyong pulls the blankets closer around himself as he snuggles into the mattress.

Jaehyun twists to his side and stares at the silhouette of Taeyong’s figure. “Sorry to worry you.” He says softly. “Honestly, I didn't think that you noticed.”

Taeyong huffs, feigning indignation. “At the risk of sounding dramatic, the whole push and pull has been wearing me out ever since it began, I just didn’t know how to deal with it so I pushed it aside.”

The muscle on Jaehyun’s jaw tightens. “I didn’t know you’d be this stressed. There are seventeen of us you have to keep your eyes on.”

“Seventeen of NCT, one of which is you.” Taeyong says in a hushed tone. “We’ve been through too much for me to not notice when you’re not being yourself.”

“I know. I shouldn’t have done this in the first place… I just didn’t want to worry you.” Jaehyun mutters.

“But you’re not.” Taeyong argues.

“I know that now.” Jaehyun says. “I’m sorry.”

Taeyong rolls to his other side, away from Jaehyun. “If anything, I’m angry at myself for not doing this earlier. But there was never a good time or place.”

Jaehyun doesn’t immediately reply, but Taeyong hears shuffling behind him. Suddenly, he feels himself being nudged forward as Jaehyun peels back the blankets and climbs in behind him. Taeyong squawks in surprise.

“What are you doing!” Taeyong protests, peeping up from the blankets.

Jaehyun remains silent. His lips are pulled into a tight line as he lays on his side and wraps his arms around Taeyong’s middle, pulling the other closer to him.

“Jaehyun.” Taeyong hisses in warning, trying and failing to ignore the way his heart hammers against his ribs.

Jaehyun presses his nose on the part where the back of his neck meets his shoulder, and Taeyong jumps at the feather-light touch.

This is new territory. They’ve never done this, not even when they had to share a room between the 7 of them during Fire Truck promotions.

With Jaehyun’s hand resting just below his chest, Taeyong has no way to hide his racing heart. But he also feels the quickened pitter-patter from the line of warmth behind him, and the tension slowly bleeds from his muscles. Jaehyun is equally nervous.

Slowly, he reaches to intertwine his fingers with the hand around his middle, and pushes back.

And then Jaehyun is muttering a quiet apology against the skin, telling Taeyong that he takes too much of other’s faults as his own, and it doesn’t do him any good. Taeyong feels the corners of his eyes prickle with tears, because they are words he’s needed to hear for years, to be absolved of the guilt he felt from day one of NCT’s debut. Not winning. Not doing enough. Not mattering.

The slow, predictable circles drawn on the back of Taeyong’s hand anchor him to the present. Jaehyun’s low, steady voice beside his ear sends a shiver down his back, and he blushes and pushes his face further into Donghyuck’s pillow.

Taeyong’s fingers tighten their grip between Jaehyun’s. “Promise me we’ll talk things through. We’ll make time. I don’t want this to happen again.”

“I promise. I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.” Jaehyun whispers. His breath brushes lightly across Taeyong’s neck, making Taeyong shiver again. “On that note…”

“Hm?” He says a little breathlessly.

“It’s just an observation, so please take this as objectively as you can. But the skinship, you’ve been… doing less of it.” Jaehyun mumbles, tone shy.

…

Taeyong blinks. “Because you’ve mentioned before that you didn’t like it?”

…

If there was a wall where Taeyong is, Jaehyun would be bashing his head against it. He tightens his arm around Taeyong. “I didn’t mean you.”

...

“... oh.”

Taeyong is as red as a tomato, and thankful that it’s too dark to tell. He shifts Jaehyun’s hold lower so it doesn’t give him away.

“Let’s just go to sleep.” Taeyong grumbles, embarrassed and ready to let this topic go.

“Hyung, are you going to-” Jaehyun starts to sit up.

“Sleep, Jae.” Taeyong says, using his leader voice. His grip on Jaehyun’s arm prevents him from moving around.

Jaehyun snorts, but he slumps back onto the bedding all the same.

“Alright. Night, hyung.”

“Night.”


	2. it was the ice cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yukhei + Mark + ice cream = ???
> 
> So... @hiddentrack71 and I were talking one day... then this happened.
> 
> Additional tags: Ice cream, pwp, dripping

Yukhei walks into the NCT 127 dorms, an excited bounce to his gait. He sees his target hanging out in the living room, neck bent awkwardly over a notebook, no doubt jotting down some lyrics or a few bars of rap. Yukhei approaches with a measured look and an easy smile.

"Hey Mark, what's up?"

"Writing stuff," Comes the curt response.

"Where'd everyone else go?"

"Jaehyun-hyung and Taeyong-hyung are out, Doyoung-hyung and Jungwoo-hyung have gone to visit the 127 dorms, and Sicheng-hyung was with you at the commercial filming thing… right?" Mark replies distractedly, scribbling something out on his notebook. He glances up and flashes Yukhei a brief smile, before going back to his lyrics.

Yukhei hums.

"Right, I think he went to visit the Dream dorms, actually. Which reminds me." Yukhei strides into the living room, shuffling through the bag in his hands before shoving something into Mark's face. "I've been tasked with delivering this to you."

Finally, Mark fully looks up from his notes, and sees Yukhei holding onto an ice cream cone in his hand. His face brightens immediately. "Dude, really? Thanks so much!"

It may no longer be the dead of summer, but it is still warm in Seoul, especially in the early afternoon. Mark enjoys his ice cream with relish.

Then he pauses…

...and looks up at a grinning Yukhei.

This in itself isn’t worth a second thought, but the kiss and wandering touches from when they were promoting Boss as NCTU comes back with alarming clarity, and Mark blushes. They haven’t had time to explore what those meant before Mark was swept into promotions for the other NCT subunit comebacks and other collaborations on Station 0. He’s definitely not against the new development, but...

To say Mark is apprehensive is an understatement.

"There isn't some kinda catch, is there?" He asks, suspicion in his eyes.

Yukhei shakes his head and raises his hands in mock surrender. "Unless you want there to be?"

Mark blinks at the cone in his hand, then looks up at Yukhei's earnest expression. He lifts the ice cream up in front of Yukhei. "Share with me? I don't think I can finish this by myself."

Yukhei snorts, but obliges and takes a big chomp into the ice cream. "Way to go not trusting me. I've seen that episode when you were in L.A so I know you can eat it all."

Mark scratches the back of his head sheepishly. "Don't get me wrong. I love ice cream, but I can't eat a lot of it right now because we're making a come back really soon. Manager-hyung will kill me if I mess up my diet."

Yukhei frowns at the deprecating tone of voice. "You're not even that big. I mean, not since the last time I checked."

Mark chuckles embarrassed. "Orders are orders."

Yukhei snorts. Then he straightens as an idea comes to mind. "Really? Maybe I should check again…"

Mark recognizes the tone and his eyes widen. "Uh. Excuse me?"

Yukhei wears a predatory smile now. "Maybe I should check to see how big you've gotten," he repeats, taking a step forward and pinning Mark with a meaningful gaze.

A full blush blooms across Mark’s cheeks. "Dude- not now, I mean, we're alone but I, uh-"

Before he has a chance of collecting his rapidly scattering thoughts, Yukhei pushes him backwards on the couch, then drags his feet across so he's lying down fully. He swings his leg over to cage Mark under him while one hand picks up the ice cream from Mark's slack grip.

Mark doesn't even have a second to react.

"I-wuh, dude! I was eating that!" He sputters, indignant.

Yukhei continues with his actions, completely unbothered. With his other hand, he angles Mark's jaw up and presses soft kisses along his forehead and cheeks. Mark grows quiet from the attention, breath caught in his throat.

Slowly, Yukhei travels down the side of his neck, licking and nibbling softly until he gets to the loose collar of Mark's t-shirt. His free hand that was playing with the bottom of the t-shirt lifts it up now, and Mark slowly sits up to help him.

Yukhei sits back slightly, taking in the sight with a marvelling glint in his eyes. "Not an ounce of fat, babe."

Mark groans and crosses his arms above his eyes. "Why are you doing this."

Yukhei doesn't immediately respond. Then, Mark feels something cold drip over his collar and makes a sound of surprise. He would've jumped, but Yukhei is still kind of sitting on him. As he moves his arms to look, he feels a few more splatters of cold on his midriff and snaps to his senses…

"Dude, what are you doing?" He asks, dumbfounded.

Yukhei smirks, and slurps the remaining melted ice cream from the cone in an obscene manner. Mark tries to convince himself that it's not sexy at all.

"What do you think I'm doing?"

Without waiting for a response, Yukhei dips his tongue onto Mark's collar, licking the sweet confectionary there. Mark makes a soft whine when he feels Yukhei's tongue lap along his pulse. His dick hardens almost immediately.

Yukhei feels the response and chuckles into Mark's skin. Mark can feel the low rumbles and groans, breathless. He tries to twist away to no avail, Yukhei just won't budge.

"Hei, someone can walk in on us," Mark complains.

Yukhei ignores him, taking his time to lick broad strokes across Mark's honey skin, tasting the french vanilla against the slight salt of Mark's skin. It's a flavour he's quickly growing fond of.

"I'm not done yet," mumbles Yukhei, sucking a spot just to the side of a sensitive nipple, catching a drop of ice cream there. Mark whines breathlessly when he feels Yukhei also growing hard against him, their erections straining against the thin fabrics between them.

When Yukhei reaches the last dollop of melted cream just below Mark's sternum, Mark lets out a surprised bark of laughter and jolts up.

"Sorry, didn't know you were ticklish there." Yukhei grins wryly, then softly kisses his way back up to Mark's lips.

Mark huffs, running out of patience. He cups Yukhei's head and pulls him up, lifting himself off the couch to crush their lips together, tasting the last traces of french vanilla on Yukhei's tongue. Yukhei grumbles at the contact.

Then Yukhei remembers the cone that he's still holding onto, and smirks into the kiss. They pull apart, and Mark opens his eyes to see the mischievous glint in Yukhei's eyes.

"Uh. What?"

Yukhei doesn't even pause before scooping Mark into his arms, carrying him into his room, where his bed and desk are covered with stuffed toys from previous fan meetings. He deposits Mark on his bed and shoves the cone into his mouth in a clean motion.

"Finish this for me, would you?" He smirks above Mark.

Without warning, their pants are gone in a flash, and he flips Mark onto his arms and knees. His large hand pushes onto the small of Mark's back, so it looks like Mark's presenting himself to Yukhei, like in a receptive position. He fiddles with the tube of lubricant for all of two seconds, squirts some on his fingers and palm, and opens Mark up with hasty, scissor-like motions while he coats himself in a similar manner.

Mark moans around the cone, and the sound sends a shiver down Yukhei's spine.

He wiggles his hips, whining softly, a sign Yukhei recognizes almost immediately now, and Yukhei presses himself into Mark slowly, easing inch after inch until he's completely sheathed into Mark.

Mark is drooling a mess on the pillow, crumbs of the cone flying everywhere. He belatedly remembers that he has arms and weakly tosses the cone aside, before his hands clutch at the bedsheets under his cheeks.

Yukhei's larger body bends and covers Mark's smaller one. His hand reaches over to jerk Mark off slowly as he eases out. Mark moans loudly into the mattress.

"Babe, don't stop. I want- I need more." Mark demands, voice breathless and thick with want.

Yukhei obliges, starting off with a slow rhythm to let Mark get used to the size. He squirts a bit more lube between them, then wraps his hands around Mark's slim waist as he thrusts a bit faster.

"Fuck, you feel so good baby." Yukhei grumbles, rubbing slow circles into Mark's hip.

"You're so big," Mark groans, pawing into the bedsheets. "Fuck, you fill me up so good."

Mark falls to his elbows, back arched as the blows become harder and more insistent. In a particularly hard thrust, and lucky aim, Mark sees stars behind his eyelids and groans, unconsciously squeezing around Yukhei, adding delicious pressure to the sensations.

"There, right there." Mark pants. "Fuck me right there. Don't fucking stop."

Yukhei retaliates by jerking Mark a little tighter, twisting gently around the soft spongy head, determined to heighten the pleasure for Mark.

Instead of giving in, Mark gives back, rotating his hips in a circular motion and thrusting backwards to meet Yukhei's thrusts. Yukhei hisses at the warmth and Mark's growing tightness, and licks at the skin behind Mark's shoulder.

In a particular hard thrust, when Mark pushes back as Yukhei slams his weight forward, Mark feels himself being tipped over the edge. Immediately, he's spilling on Yukhei's hand on his erection and Yukhei doesn't move, but his hand squeezes in time with Mark's quivering hips, milking every last pearly drop.

The rhythmic squeezing pushes Yukhei into his own orgasm. He spills into Mark, making hot, wet, squelching noises as he thrusts shallowly to pump everything he has into the receiving body beneath him. Mark moans from being filled so completely.

Yukhei gently rests his weight on Mark, and they roll to their sides cuddling and catching their breaths.

Eventually, Yukhei's softened erection falls out, and Mark complains about the feeling of Yukhei's spend dribbling out, so Yukhei begrudgingly leaves the bed to get them cleaned up like the good boyfriend he is.

After that, they lazily pull on their boxers and go back to cuddling again.

Within minutes, they fall asleep.

•••

Later on that day, when NCT 127 is back in their dorms and everyone's having dinner around the table, Sicheng looks up from his bowl of rice to nod at Mark.

"Yukhei shared his ice cream with you, right? How was it?"

Mark spares a warning glance at Yukhei's shit-eating grin from across the table and says, rather dryly, "It was good."


	3. good morning new york

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's NCT 127's first morning in New York of April 2019, just before their plethora of schedules and plans. Also, Jaehyun and Taeyong are (finally, finally,) hotel room roommates.
> 
> Additional tags: Morning sex, pwp

"How do you get this much energy," Jaehyun mutters into Taeyong's nape, struggling to tighten his hold around the other man in hopes that it would calm him. It doesn't, because Taeyong takes the opportunity to press his back even tighter around a specific area that is starting to grow with interest.

It doesn't take long before Jaehyun cracks an eye open and glares hotly at his boyfriend. "Do you mind?"

The amusement he's trying to bite back is as apparent as the sunlight streaming through the cracks of the blinds. Taeyong snorts, wiggling his hips teasingly. "You evidently don't, either."

Jaehyun ducks his head and exhales in irritation. "The things you do to me."

Taeyong bites back his response, because admitting that watching Jaehyun sleep makes him aroused is probably on a whole new level of creepy. So instead he hums and pushes Jaehyun onto his back, swinging his leg over and crouching above the sleepy man.

"Yong," Jaehyun half whispers, half groans behind the arms that cover his face. It's too bright, and definitely too early. Damn jetlags.

Taeyong smirks. He patiently collects Jaehyun's palms in his and pins them above his head.

"Let me do the work."

With that, Taeyong quickly pulls off his boxers and seats himself, back facing Jaehyun, and rubbing his round, soft rump against Jaehyun's erection, who lets out a soft moan from the attention. Jaehyun may only be waking up, but Jaehyun junior is already happily poking up. Taeyong looks over his shoulder to watch Jaehyun's eyes darken with arousal, and smirks. He pulls an edge of his baggy t-shirt into his mouth, so the fabric in the back collects just above his ass, giving Jaehyun a beautiful view.

"Wakey wakey."

...

Jaehyun sighs explosively.

"Please don't say that ever again, especially in these situations."

Taeyong laughs.

"What, can't enjoy a little morning fuck with our Japanese comeback title? I've read twitter comments before- people said it was a great baby-making song." With that, he grinds his hips a little more aggressively against Jaehyun's erection, then reaching for the lube. Without missing a beat, he hikes his hips up, giving Jaehyun another really nice view while he warms his hands before stretching himself.

Jaehyun growls a little. "Babe, if you keep this up we'll be late for morning call."

"We'll be late because _I'm doing all the work_ , not because I'm keeping this up-"

Jaehyun tackles Taeyong onto the mattress, trapping his body under him. A hand reaches up to tug the baggy t-shirt off a shoulder as he presses licks and nips more incessantly against the warm, sated skin. "You can stop talking anytime now," he says lowly, tone laced with warning.

Taeyong snorts, unperturbed. He rolls his hips upwards to meet Jaehyun's shallow thrusts, hissing lightly when his dick rubs against the sensitive skin of his hole. Jaehyun's cock gets slick from the residue lube, but Jaehyun pauses his thrusting.

"Still hurts from last night?"

"Don't let it get to your head." Taeyong's voice is muffled by the pillow, while his hands curl into fist against the bedsheets.

“Told you to take it slow,” Jaehyun mumbles, sitting up. His warm hands rub slow circles against Taeyong’s outer thigh, attempting to release the tension there.

Taeyong squeezes his eyes shut and moans quietly into the pillow, melting away to the impromptu massage session. “Don’t want slow.”

Jaehyun huffs lightly in amusement. “We still have a contonight a few days, and heaps of interviews before then. You're alternating between sitting for hours on end and immediately jumping into dry rehearsals. Please don’t make this harder on yourself.” His hands rub into the knots forming in Taeyong’s lower back with a sense of familiarity. Taeyong hisses in response. “See?”

“Jaehyun, stop making me melt and fuck me. You can give me a back massage after.”

Jaehyun scoffs, but does as told. When Taeyong gets this demanding, a straight out denial will only put him in a worse mood. Jaehyun’s tried, at a point, as a joke. He suffered blue balls for weeks. _Weeks._

He slowly, carefully pushes into Taeyong, whose brows have scrunched up a little from the discomfort.

“Breathe, relax,” Jaehyun reminds his boyfriend, stopping his advancement to massage Taeyong’s back. When Taeyong feels less tight around him (it isn’t that much give, to be honest) he eases more of himself in, then pulling himself out a little, only to go further. He repeats this until he is sinks all the way into Taeyong’s warmth.

When he adjusts to the feeling of Jaehyun stretching him so widely, he wiggles his hips as an indication for Jaehyun to move. But Jaehyun doesn’t. All he does is press a hand into Taeyong’s hips and holds him there, groaning something low and dirty into Taeyong’s shoulder.

“Are you about to come? I thought last night took the edge off.”

“You feel too fucking good around me.”

Taeyong smiles indulgently. He knows this, of course.

“Then go slow. It’s just 6 am.”

“... I’m going to get you back for this I swear to Go-oh fuck. Fuck.”

Taeyong rolls his hips while squeezing his muscles a bit, clamping onto Jaehyun deliciously in a way he knows will drive Jaehyun crazy. Jaehyun’s grip on his hips loosen completely, and he smirks into the pillow.

“Less talking, more fucking,” he singsongs, wiggling his hips teasingly again.

With more force than strictly necessary, Jaehyun pins Taeyong’s hands and legs down with his own, pushing all of his weight down until he’s fully sheathed, and tenses his kegels to twitch inside Taeyong- just the way he likes it. Taeyong moans appreciatively and pushes up against his hips, aching to feel Jaehyun brush against his prostate.

Jaehyun inhales Taeyong’s scent deeply and gently thrusts into him in a slow rhythm. He squeezes his eyes shut and focuses on the way Taeyong milks him by squeezing and releasing his muscles in time with his thrusts. The pleasure mounts slowly, but with sweet anticipation. Then Jaehyun curls sideways so he can press gentle kisses down Taeyong’s side, where he knows is one of Taeyong’s erogenous area. With his hands free, he trails warm lines down Taeyong’s spine, knowing that this always sets Taeyong chasing for the high.

After a few dozen strokes, Taeyong starts leaking against the bedsheets and whines a little. Jaehyun pushes himself up, careful to not withdraw out of Taeyong too quickly.

“Hm?”

“I want to ride you.”

Jaehyun smiles, nodding. “Don’t get too enthusiastic.”

“Stop ruining the fun, old man.”

“Old! I’ll show you old!”

He doesn’t show anyone old, because after Taeyong seats himself on top of him, bouncing and squeezing his erection, Jaehyun loses it and comes. His hands hold Taeyong’s hips down as his back arches up, pressing as far as he can go before shooting rope after rope of sperm inside. The heat pools in Taeyong’s stomach, and after a few gentle bounces, he comes all over himself and Jaehyun, splatting white over their sickeningly well-defined stomachs.

Jaehyun looks down and gently urges the last drops of Taeyong's ejaculate out, careful to not over-stimulate the sensitive member, and hums contemplatively.

“Those fans sure got an eyeful, didn’t they?”

Taeyong blinks slowly, trying to follow his train of thought. “You mean the Seoul concert documentary thing?”

“Yeah, the one where they saw your abs.”

“And yours,” Taeyong adds with a quirk of his lips.

“Ours, then,” corrects Jaehyun, also smiling crookedly. “Must’ve set them in a frenzy.”

“Frenzy? Yeah, or, like, horny.”

“Haha, maybe that too.”

“Or, or, an inspirational trip.”

“Hm?”

Taeyong gingerly slides off of Jaehyun now, reaching for the box of Kleenex as he does. He pauses, then hurries to the bathroom and uses the sink instead. After a moment, Jaehyun follows behind him, thinking similar thoughts. They shouldn’t leave evidence.

“Like, the whole shipping us as, as… a ship.”

Jaehyun blinks confused. “Ship?”

Taeyong opens his mouth, like he’s looking for the correct words to key his boyfriend in on the world of ships, then thinks better of it. He shakes his head and makes a dismissive sound in his throat. “Nevermind. It’s not that important anyway. Let’s clean up and wake the other kids up for morning call. It’s going to be a long day, with interviews and all.”

Jaehyun shoots him a questioning look, but wisely doesn’t comment further.

They dutifully clean up, sharing a nice warm shower, where Taeyong scrubs Jaehyun’s back and Jaehyun tries to do the same but isn’t as thorough, and the two get dressed, bound to the other rooms and wake the others.


	4. things that fizz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jaehyun buys a pink cherry blossom bath bomb for Taeyong, Taeyong invites Jaehyun to experience its pink, fizzy glory.
> 
> Rating: T/M  
> Additional tags: bath bomb, bath, mentions of nakedness, mentions of sex, fluff, boyfriends

It's not something Jaehyun does, soaking in a bath that smells like flowers with bubbles the size of his head floating on the surface, but one come-hither look from Taeyong has him following anyway. There's a first for everything, he thinks.

They pause and watch the cherry blossom bath bomb fizz and melt into the warm water; Taeyong in excitement, Jaehyun in… he doesn't know what to think. It sounds corrosive. It looks very fucking pink. Jaehyun stares with a degree of trepidation and a degree of amusement as Taeyong steps into the bath, who squeals gleefully when his feet comes into contact with the very warm water.

"It won't kill you, you know," Taeyong teases.

“It fizzled.  _ Fizzled. _ It'll melt the skin off my bones,” Jaehyun says, wearing an expression like there may be truth to his words.

Taeyong opens his arms wide like saying,  _ Look at me.  _ “Really?”

Jaehyun shakes his head, taking a step back. “You're not human. We've already established this.”

“Mere flesh and bones,” Taeyong corrects with a chide.

“And robotic parts. A bunch of them.”

“Right, so let’s stop delaying the inevitable. Join me, now.” Taeyong instructs. He follows the command with an exaggerated appreciative glance up and down Jaehyun's body, which he knows will make Jaehyun want to hide. Seeing as how the towels have (strangely, magically) appeared on the other side of the bathroom and out of reach, the closest hiding spot would be the bubble bath.

“Oi, eyes up here,” Jaehyun huffs, a soft pink tinting his cheeks. He looks conflicted for a flash of a moment, then sighs and takes two steps into the water. Taeyong stops himself from smiling in victory.

“It’s cute how you can be so self-conscious one second, and display your abs in full view the next,” Taeyong comments, distracting his nervous boyfriend. He glides over a little to make space, and Jaehyun slowly, slowly sinks into the bath beside him. Their legs touch, but it's not as sexy as what Taeyong had in mind. Oh well, maybe next time.

Jaehyun scowls. “Why do you keep bringing that up? It was a lapse in judgment. Also, you did it too.”

Taeyong snorts. “Except I’m not shy about my body. Also, I’ve seen you naked too many times to count.”

“Yeah but that's when we're having sex. This is a bit different.” He gestures to the bubbles and cherry blossom petals that they’ve submerged into.

There is a brief pause.

“This isn't corrosive.”

Taeyong deadpans. “No shit.”

“This doesn't hurt or sting.”

“As I've been saying.”

With an exasperated sigh, Taeyong lifts himself up to sit on the ledge, gesturing for Jaehyun to sit between his legs. Meanwhile he reaches for some cherry blossom scented body wash and shampoo, squeezing a dollop of the latter into his hands. He rubs the solution into Jaehyun's scalp, expert fingers digging deep into the layer of skin to release the tension there. Jaehyun croons at the attention, and becomes putty after that.

“This is not bad, right?” Taeyong murmurs, tone soft and teasing.

Jaehyun hums lowly, the corners of his mouth quirking up. “I suppose.”

Taeyong chuckles. “That's what I thought.”

Jaehyun cracks an eye open and shoots Taeyong a pointed look. “In my defense, I was stepping into fizzing pink soup.”

“...fair.”

They switch positions, where Jaehyun washes Taeyong's hair, giving him a head massage (not  _ that _ head) and washes him off with the pink body wash. He's better at the massages, and Taeyong almost doesn't want to leave the bath, but it's growing cold and he's getting pruney, so they have a final rinse and Taeyong bounds to the other side of the bathroom for the towels. He flashes Jaehyun a cheeky grin.

“You should try the black gold sparkles next time.”

Jaehyun pauses from drying his hair and frowns at Taeyong.

“What?”

“Only if you do it with me. Can't trust these things.”

Taeyong rolls his eyes at Jaehyun's dramatics. “It's a bath bomb, it's supposed to fizz.”

“Just say yes so we can take more baths together.”

Taeyong hums, not pausing his motions this time, but he does shift his gaze to Jaehyun's expectant eyes.

“Only if you give me head massages.”

Jaehyun's face breaks into a bright smile. “Deal.”


	5. what we talkin' bout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this prompt](https://curiouscat.me/n_kei/post/857613007). I know I've written something similar, and also in the POV of Jaehyun, but this is specific to their tour timeline, where artists often experience strong elations and depression during and after the concert, respectively.
> 
> Additional tags: Hotel, Neo City The Origin North America, pillow talk

When the last concert at Los Angeles had come to an end, everyone collectively took a sigh of relief.

This tour is long- there are still two more spots up in Canada, but those feel like a small fry compared with the American part of the tour, mostly because the travelling and promotional scheduling are going to be so different. When Jaehyun and the others prepared for landing at the John F. Kennedy International Airport, they were already debriefed of the intensity (and importance) of this trip.

They needed to make an impression. The bigger the splash, the better. They had pop-up dance performances, fan photo opportunities, radio interviews, live streaming interviews, television interviews, interviews, interviews, and more interviews.

Their schedules went back to back, without a moment’s rest, that their jetlags became the last of their problems. They didn’t have a down-time to spare to contemplate fatigue. Needless to say, everyone fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the fluffy hotel pillows.

And here, in Los Angeles, is where Jaehyun finally agrees to take the room with Taeyong.  


When Jaehyun first refused to room with Taeyong, he’d never talked to anyone about his reasons. It seemed inconsequential, anyway. But he didn’t want to stir up any rumours that would end either, or both, of their careers. What he’d felt for NCT’s (to this day) unofficial leader was not something strictly acceptable for South Korean standards, and even less so in more conservative countries.

They couldn’t afford to be labelled as anything, much less in a negative light.

So he hid his feeling. But when it got to a point where their fans picked up on his, ah, attentiveness and natural inclinations towards his leader, he decided to truncate the emotions completely.

There wasn’t a time for that.

And so, for half of 2017 and most of 2018, he stuck to his word. His emotions would not raise, would not so much as breach the threshold that kept him from turning towards Taeyong when he talked to him, would not allow his heart to speed, his hands to sweat when Taeyong did something ridiculously adorable for fan service. It was fan service, it wasn’t real, he told himself.

It isn’t until the last leg of their American tour (not North American, because Canada still exists, shout out to Mark’s country), that Taeyong looks pointedly between Taeil and Johnny, Doyoung and Yuta, Jungwoo and Donghyuck, and Mark and his manager, that Jaehyun finds himself, by process of elimination, sharing a room with Taeyong.

To say he’s nervous is an understatement.

Mark and Donghyuck are the first to bid goodbye after the team debrief, whining about aching joints and the long process of cleaning and washing up before they go to bed. Jaehyun sees the way Mark stares longingly at the pillows, and low-key empathizes. Their managers and the other members shuffle out of the hotel room, glad to have the first half of the next day to unwind a little before flying to Toronto. Johnny, the last to stand up, gives Jaehyun’s back a soft pat, before leaving.

And then it was just the two of them.

Jaehyun takes a silent, long inhale, and turns to see Taeyong busying around the room, cleaning after everyone’s snack wrappings (because yes, even the idols following the strictest diets snack at midnight).

“I’ll shower first,” he announces.

Taeyong hums quietly, tucking the disposable chopsticks and bentos into the garbage can.

Jaehyun stands by the doorway for a moment, then shakes his head. He rifles through his pack, finds his toiletries, and heads into the bathroom.

When he comes out, Taeyong is staring with unmatched focus at his laptop, and his fingers are smashing some buttons in rapid succession. Jaehyun snorts under his breath to hide his chuckle.

“Shower’s yours.”

Taeyong grunts in response, and Jaehyun smiles a little. Normally, he’d let this go, but it’s getting late and he’d really appreciate a few hours of eye-shut in relative darkness. Plus, he’d lost his sleeping mask somewhere in the middle of the tour.

“C’mon hyung."

"I’m almost done. Last game."

Shaking his head, Jaehyun flounces to his side of the bed. The room provides two twin beds, but they were pushed together during the meeting, and Jaehyun doesn’t have the energy to pull them apart again. He scrolls through his Instagram feed with a light interest, noting what’s happening in EXO hyungs’ lives, Red Velvet’s summer comeback, and sends a few dog videos to his mom through kakaotalk, signing off with a “I’ve found a scented candle you’ll like. Miss you.”

He feels Taeyong’s gaze on him for a brief moment.

“How are you feeling?”

Jaehyun hums lowly. “Honestly, I’m exhausted. My body and mind are confused about the jetlag and time differences, and I’ve never been more thankful for long lasting makeup before. The rings under my eyes are becoming permanent.”

“Staying powder,” Taeyong corrects with a slight grin. Jaehyun knows it means he’s won the game- probably Division.

“Won?”

“Yeah. I-” He pauses, looking at Jaehyun. “Is it too warm in here?”

Jaehyun knows he’s referring to his toplessness and feels a little self-conscious. “Yeah.”

Taeyong looks away, digging in his suitcase. “Okay, I’ll go wash up now.”

“Okay.”

Jaehyun has half a heart to fall asleep, but there’s a nervous feeling somewhere below his stomach. He stays on his phone instead. It would be weird to fall asleep before Taeyong finishes his shower. They used to stay up all night and chat about the future, their debut, and hitting it big. Now that they’re there, it’s… a strange feeling. Lofty, whimsical like a dream, but with too many puddles of sweat, tears, and sacrifices not to be acknowledged as reality.

Taeyong comes out of the shower wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms and a plain white baggy tshirt from Comme de Garcon, as per the signature heart on the top left. The smile Taeyong flashes him is crooked, awkward.

“I’m going to turn off the lights,” he says.

Jaehyun dutifully turns on the bedside lamp so Taeyong doesn’t bang his toes walking to the bed.

“Thanks,” Taeyong mutters, slipping under the crumpled sheets. He smooths it out with his hands. Jaehyun notices a slight shaking of his hands.

“Are you cold? I can turn down the AC.”

Taeyong shakes his head, pointedly looking away from Jaehyun. “I’m okay.”

“Okay.”

Taeyong turns to his phone and types a few messages, and Jaehyun sees them pop up on the group chat.

 **Taeyong** ****  
Dream babies  
Have you had lunch yet?   
It’s almost lunch time, eat lots

Jaemin and Renjun immediately chime in, assuring Taeyong that they’re eating well and taking good care of themselves. Chenle also replies a moment later, saying that he’s planning to bring some dumplings to the practice room. Jisung demands a box for himself because he’s still growing, to which Chenle responds with a big eye-roll, but everyone knows he will bring an extra box just for Jisung. Jeno pipes in, demanding a box too (he won’t get it), Renjun adds to the number (he won’t get one either), and the bickering starts up.

Jaehyun scowls at Taeyong, amusement pulling at his lips as he turns off the sound to his phone. The pings are getting more frequent, aggressive.

“Sorry.” Taeyong chuckles, not the least bit sorry.

“Uh huh,” Jaehyun replies dryly, putting his phone away.

They fall into a companionable silence, where Jaehyun stares at the ceiling and thinking about everything and nothing, and Taeyong throws in a final _Play nice with each other!_ before turning off his phone’s sound, too.

“I have a question.”

Jaehyun makes a soft sound in the back of his throat. He knows Taeyong will continue without much prompt, and he does.

“What do you think of the tour so far? And your direction, and music.”

Jaehyun contemplates the question for a minute. “It’s a nice change of pace, to be honest. Promoting in Korea meant a lot of 18 hour days, from makeup, to hair, to camera testing and dry rehearsal, to finally recording, and a lot of sitting around in between. But here, we’re literally doing everything at every moment of the day. Hell, we’re even getting at least six hours of sleep every night.”

Taeyong chuckles softly, nodding. “Yeah, that’s definitely a nice change.”

They drift a little, then Jaehyun turns to glance at Taeyong. “But I miss home. It’s been over two weeks, and I can’t have another plate of pasta unless it came with the sweet, pickled radish.”

“I definitely miss the fried chicken.”

“You don’t even order fried chicken that often.”

“I still miss it. It’s not the same here.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

More silence.

“It’s kind of amazing, you know?” Jaehyun mutters softly. “From performing at the Apple store, to becoming Apple’s next top artists, to a string of promotions and interviews for Regular, to… this. This is a world tour. We’ve only debuted three years ago. We’re already going to the world.”

Taeyong nods in understanding. “As per what we promised our fans, right from the beginning.”

“Right. But it’s one thing to repeat it as our introduction, another altogether to, to-”

“Fulfill it, right?”

“That’s the word.”

Taeyong turns to his side, facing Jaehyun. “We’ve come a long way.”

Jaehyun nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. He casts a small smile in Taeyong’s way, but doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “We have. It’s kind of crazy.”

“Another four and a half years of this,” Taeyong continues, eyes searching.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Remember how we talked about this when we first debuted? We slept in the practice rooms, went for coffee breaks all the time. It feels like a lifetime ago now,” Taeyong reminisces. “There weren’t that many of us before. And now there are so many of us, trotting the globe like we’re going to dominate it.”

He laughs at his own joke almost self-deprecatingly.

“I know we work hard towards our goal, our own goals and collectively, as a group. But I still feel like an impostor sometimes. It shouldn’t be this easy. There are tens of groups out there who just, just don’t.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “You can’t say that, you work harder than anyone of us combined- well, except for Mark.”

“But Mark had always been remarkable,” Taeyong repeats the old joke.

They share a round of chuckles; the mood feels a little lighter, a little more familiar.

“It’s been a while, since we shared a room.” Taeyong pauses, like expecting Jaehyun to say something about it But when Jaehyun doesn’t immediately reply, he continues, “But it’s nice to share a room again. We should do this more often.”

Jaehyun hums, hoping Taeyong doesn’t notice how breathless he sounds.

“No comment?”

“I’m not sure what to say.”

“You… could start by explaining why you kept your distance for a year and a half, but-” Taeyong exhales lightly. “But that’s up to you. I don’t want to push you to explain yourself.”

Jaehyun takes a long time to think about this. Finally, he says: “I don’t know if that’s something I can talk about right now.”

Taeyong nods, like he’s expected this. “That’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s nothing to be sorry about. I just wanted to say that I’ve missed this. And, and that I’ve missed you.”

 _I know_ , Jaehyun wants to say, _I’ve missed us too._

“Hyung is getting so sentimental,” he says teasingly, instead.

Taeyong lets out a soft bark of laughter. “Yeah, must be the old age.”

“Must be.”

“I still remember when Jisung was shorter than me. Chenle too. They’re now, well, tall. Grown men. Chenle is going to be an adult next year. And Jisung, four months after that. How crazy is that?”

Jaehyun laughs. “It’s unbelievable. To be honest. I can’t imagine them as grown men. They’ll forever be the nine, ten year old snotty kids that we met years ago. Jisung was so small back then.”

“He was. But to be fair, we all were.”

“That’s true, I guess.”

Taeyong’s smile turns playful. “You were smaller, too.”

Jaehyun scoffs, indignant. “Please. Your voice was much higher back then.”

Taeyong laughs. “So was yours!”

“Let’s not compare our youth, you’ll never win against me.”

“Let’s call it _maturity_ and leave it at that. I’ll always have two years over you.”

“Aha, maturity, eh?”

“Jung Jaehyun.”

Dimples appear on either side of Jaehyun’s cheeks, a sight Taeyong grins to.

“It’s nice, where we are now.”

“It’s nice to know our hard work has paid off-- hell, continues to pay off, even.”

A short pause, then:

“I still think about him sometimes.”

The bitter reminiscent smile on Taeyong’s face tips Jaehyun off as to who he could be talking about.

“It sucked that things didn’t work out that way. But he made his decision.”

“I know.  But we could’ve been a group. We would’ve been the ultimate NCT U. So much has changed.”

“Hyung.”

“I know, I’m… I just, I don’t even have a down moment to be sad anymore. Let me be sad.”

Jaehyun reads the emotions in Taeyong’s faraway eyes. It’s a complicated mixture of introspection, of slight melancholy, and of apprehension for the future. It’s a look that pulls Jaehyun closer, his voice lower. He wants to place his hand above Taeyong’s, laid between them, but he doesn’t. He shouldn’t.

It’s not something he can give hope to.

“That stage, I avoided him,” Taeyong admits. “I couldn’t bring myself to say hi, to even smile at him. But I saw the fan cam’s, Johnny, Mark, and Yuta-”

“Hyung…”

“I couldn’t do it.”

“I know hyung. I couldn’t do it either. Not after everything he did with us, and what he did after.”

“Exactly.”

And in that moment, Jaehyun understood what Taeyong was trying to do. He’s trying to draw a connection between them, trying to tell Jaehyun, without telling him, that it was okay not to share some things if he wasn’t ready. Whether it was about Hansol or about them, Jaehyun could share when he felt ready, or not at all if he didn’t want to.

“Thank you, hyung.”

Taeyong shakes his head, pressing his cheek against the white cotton of the pillow. Jaehyun’s hands itch by his sides. “What? For sharing my depressing thoughts?”

Jaehyun snorts, amused. “Yes, for sharing your depressing thoughts.”

Taeyong makes a low thoughtful sound. “I guess it comes with old age, too.”

Jaehyun chuckles, snuggling a little closer against the soft blankets. “You said it this time, not me.”

“I’m just trying to acknowledge that with age comes a lot of things.”

“If age turns me into a depressed person, I’d rather not age at all.”

“You have no idea.”

They share a soft smile, then Taeyong closes his eyes, breaking their eye contact.

“Hyung.”

“Hm?”

“Do you ever think about getting married and starting a family?”

Taeyong opens his eyes to blink owlishly at Jaehyun. “I have, in the past.”

“In the past? What makes the present so different?”

“You mean, besides the obligation to our fans across this planet, honouring our seven year contracts, and then immediately getting shipped off to the army?”

Jaehyun snickers. “Yeah, something like that.”

Taeyong shrugs with a shoulder. “Well, I guess it’s a matter of finding the right person and making babies then, isn’t it?”

His expression is too neutral, his eyes too in the moment, for the joke to sustain. Jaehyun wrinkles his nose anyway.

“Just when the world thought Taeyong was already a blessing to the world, he decides to go and make babies to bless the world even more,” he huffs, unamused. Something in his stomach turns, and he steadfastly ignores it.

“The world is better, much, much, very more so better with baby Taeyong’s running around,” Taeyong smirks, shooting Jaehyun a wink.

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, thankful for the relative darkness of the room to conceal his quickly reddening face. “Bet you say that to all the girls.”

“I have said that to a few fangirls.”

“What? Did they ask to have your babies?”

“Don’t they ask you the same questions?”

“Yeah, but I just give them the textbook ‘let me ask my parents first,’ answers.”

“Oh, well. I guess that’s that, then.”

Jaehyun knows Taeyong isn’t telling the complete truth. It would’ve bothered his younger self to no end, that Taeyong is keeping something from him. He’s better at handling it now.

“Yeah,” he replies eventually, also closing his eyes and letting the silence drift.

It’s not that he’s consciously paying attention to it, but he’s memorized the way Taeyong breathes. It usually deepens for minutes before drifting off to a rhythmic pace, signifying that he’s dipped into a light slumber. Jaehyun has spent hours staring at his hyung falling asleep once. This situation is painfully familiar, too.

Jaehyun glances over and sees Taeoyng’s eyes have closed. He exhales quietly. “Hyung?”

“Hm?”

“I’ve missed this too.”

A small, genuine smile graces Taeyong’s lips. He cracks his eyes open and shoots Jaehyun a look of an almost shy contentedness.

“I’m glad you feel the same way.”

Jaehyun exhales deeply, and turns off the lights. It’s time to sleep. “It’s not like I’ve changed over night.”

“Thanks for getting the lights,” Taeyong mumbles, ignoring Jaehyun’s claim. They both know that’s not the change Taeyong was referring to.

When Taeyong’s breath evens out, when his body twitches and shudders into a deeper slumber, Jaehyun steels his resolve and turns to his leader, one of his closest and longest friends, and his crush.

It’s not right to feel the way he does. He promised he won’t act on it. But in the space where he shifts closer, and closer still, to press the lightest touch of lips against the back of Taeyong’s hand placed between them, it feels okay. Okay to harbour these feelings, okay to continue the denial of them when they leave the hotel room.

It will all work out, somehow, eventually.

•••

When Taeyong cracks his eyes open, it is already the next morning. His eyes slowly adjust to the light, where he catches the prone form of Jaehyun sleeping beside him, and their conversation last night comes crashing back.

He rolls to his back and squeezes his eyes shut.

Family, huh? If that can be a reality with Jaehyun, he'd be willing to try. But until then...

He brings the back of his hand to his lips, and inhales quietly. Until then, he needs to push himself further, being the best self for him, his team, his fans, and his company. And the rest of future can wait.


	6. lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this](https://curiouscat.me/n_kei/post/865043916) and, vaguely, [this](https://curiouscat.me/n_kei/post/866671391). I wanted to switch things up a bit with this story, so you'll see a different interpretation to the two prompts ;)
> 
> Additional tags: pre-debut, instant ramen, dance

“Hyung, let’s try this flavour!”

“But we tried this one already.”

“Oh, what about this one then?”

“Sure, throw it in here.”

Taeyong extends his basket and Jaehyun deposits the two cup noodles in his hands in it. It’s become a bit of a tradition, where once a week after school and before practice, Taeyong and Jaehyun would meet for a quick snack at the convenience store. They’ve been doing this for the better half of 2014, just the two of them.

It started out of convenience. Right from the get-go, they were amongst some of the hardest working trainees in their crop, which meant they tended to stay late to practice. But as teenagers are, they got hungry every few hours, and without a sustainable amount of food (because company dietary restrictions are dumb anyway) they wouldn’t have the energy to practice. So Taeyong suggested that they get snacks (instant ramen, chocolates, anything to get their blood sugar high) before they head in. Jaehyun, who is always hungry, readily agrees with a wide, dimpled smile and firm nod.

They decided to try every flavour of instant ramen, because Taeyong is the type to leave no stone unturned, and Jaehyun is more than happy to follow.

"Think they'll make us do more drills today?" Jaehyun asks, playing with his chopsticks while the ramen works its magic in the cup.

"Probably, we're still working on old school hip hop, it's all muscles and endurance, according to Johnny."

"Ah, okay."

Taeyong scrolls through his phone, and Jaehyun looks through the glass at a couple who were walking by.

"I don't really like old school hip hop, I'd much rather dance to contemporary, jazz or funk," Jaehyun admits with a huffy smile.

Taeyong snorts, setting his phone down. "You're just saying that because you don't like the old school hip hop music."

Jaehyun wrinkles his nose, peeling the lid back a bit to see how his noodles are doing, before covering it back up again. "There's no vocal finesse in rap."

"There's rhyme and rhythm, there's also interesting instrumentation. A song isn't all about vocal finesse, you know."

"Yeah, but I'm better at vocals anyway." Jaehyun flashes a cheeky grin.

Taeyong sighs in fond exasperation. "I guess. Ramen’s ready."

They peel back the lids in unison, excited to try their latest flavor, a yellow packet of instant ramen called Jin. Jaehyun is an immediate fan, Taeyong thinks it tastes like everything else.

"But like, what if we debut as a trap, hip hop group?" Jaehyun asks.

"Guess we better start spitting out some bars then." Taeyong teases, twirling some more ramen around his chopsticks.

Jaehyun frowns a little.

"Don't worry, we aren't debuting any time soon. I'm sure the company will figure something out for us."

"You make it sound like you know we will debut...together."

Taeyong doesn't know, of course. He doesn't like to project false hope, but there's a gut feeling that tells him that no matter what will happen, they will debut together. It sounds far-fetched though, so he just shrugs and keeps eating.

The ramen lasts less than five minutes. Their mouths are also burning from gulping the steamy soup down too quickly.

The convenience store is about an eight minute walk from the company building, where they'll be spending the next three hours practicing dance. Jaehyun notices how Taeyong bites and picks at his lips a bit, but doesn't comment. It's probably the spice in the soup that's irritating his lips.

When they get to the practice room, Yuta, a newcomer from Japan, launches himself at Taeyong before another boy, Hansol, joins. Jaehyun feels a little out of place, so he starts stretching by himself. He unknowingly follows Taeyong with his eyes through the mirror. At some point, someone puts on some music and other trainees start stretching, then Taeyong turns to him. He almost jumps.

"Hey, why did you leave me?"

Jaehyun doesn't want to say that he's put off by Yuta and Hansol, but he's not very good at lying. "I… thought hyung wanted to spend some alone time with your friends."

Taeyong props his arms on his hips and gives Jaehyun a  _ look _ , and Jaehyun blushes a bit. "They're your friends too. We're in this  _ together _ . Don't be so shy."

With that, he tugs Jaehyun to his group, and they all awkwardly greet each other before stretching together.

The next three hours are long and tedious. Class is two hours long, but the room is open until midnight, so Jaehyun, Taeyong, and some other trainees decide to stay later. With practiced motion, Taeyong connects his phone to the cords and looks for a song they've learned in the past. Meanwhile, Jaehyun makes a beeline for his water bottle.

"You've gotten better, hyung."

Taeyong chuckles a little self-deprecatingly, wiping the sweat with the bottom of his shirt and giving Jaehyun an unexpected eyeful of his flat tummy. “If I didn’t improve after putting in this much work, I should probably give up.”

Jaehyun frowns. “That’s not what I meant.”

Taeyong smiles, shaking his head a little. "I know, I'm just teasing. Let's start again."

Taeyong gestures for the water break wraps up, and they go back to dance.

 

It's unsurprising that Taeyong and Jaehyun are the last to leave. It's been this way for a few weeks now, when one day Taeyong decided to take being an idol seriously. Since he and Jaehyun had become fast friends with a common goal, Jaehyun followed suit. It's gotten to a point where their unofficial manager would leave them for hours at a time, only coming back to close up after they’ve left. Today is one of those days.

They’re both spent, mentally and physically, but in high spirits. They left at around 10:00 pm because Jaehyun has a 11 pm curfew. Taeyong waits outside, whistling a random tune while propping the door open. Jaehyun is still in the room getting his things together.

“Get the lights for me?” Taeyong calls over. Jaehyun groans loudly, but does as told. Taeyong hides his smile. They’re out the building in a minute.

“How was your exam?”

“Which one are you referring to, the one today or two days ago?”

“I don’t know, whichever one you complained about last time we talked about it.”

Jaehyun snorts, pulling his backpack straps tighter across his chest. “Hyung, there’s been too many.”

Taeyong laughs at Jaehyun’s whiny tone. He’s been noticing this for a while now, but Jaehyun only uses that tone with him. He only acts cutely towards him. This knowledge spreads a warmth in his chest, and redness across his cheeks.

When they pass by the convenience store, Jaehyun tugs at Taeyong’s sleeve to stop him. “Wait here, I gotta get something.”

Taeyong hums nonchalantly, pulling out his phone to check his messages while Jaehyun hops in quickly to get whatever he needs to get. He comes out a minute later.

“Ready?” Taeyong asks without looking up.

Jaehyun nods, shuffling with a packet of something in his hands. Taeyong looks up curiously and sees a small stick of something in his hands.

"What's that?"

"It's for your lips. They're chapped, aren't they?"

Taeyong instinctively folds his lips together, making a weird goldfish face. Jaehyun snickers, reaching for Taeyong's hand. It struggles with his hold for a moment, before becoming complacent. He places the lip balm on the open palm and let's go. He peeks a look at Taeyong, only to see the other ducking his head low to read the words on the packaging (and to hide his blush, but Jaehyun doesn't know that).

"Peach and vanilla?"

Jaehyun laughs a little shyly. "I wanted to get the strawberry one for you, but they ran out of that one, so I got you this. It's a good brand."

Taeyong hums softly, popping the lid open and swiping it over his lips. "Mm-ts smmth."

Jaehyun chuckles at his hyung's cute display. "Yeah, it's very hydrating."

Taeyong grins. "Yeah, that. Smells good too. Thanks."

"Hyung I also just- I want to say something.”

“Hm?”

Jaehyun almost loses his train of thought when Taeyong flashes him the wide-eyed look of curiosity, but he catches himself in time. “Um, I just wanted to apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean to imply that you were really bad before.”

Taeyong sighs and levels Jaehyun with a look, shoving the lip balm between them with two fingers. “What’s this? Some kind of consolation prize?”

Jaehyun shakes his head vehemently. “It isn’t, I wouldn’t. I saw you biting your lips after the instant ramen so I– I just wanted to get something for you. It had nothing to do with my comment.”

Taeyong narrows his eyes, but Jaehyun doesn’t back away like he expects. He takes a step forward, and that's when he realizes Jaehyun’s getting tall… almost as tall as him. When did that happen?

“Hyung, I mean it. Please.”

“Jaehyunie is being honest, isn’t he?”

"Of course! I don't have a reason to lie."

"Then I have no reason to question you." Taeyong flashes him a small, brilliant smile. "Let's get you home, you'll miss your curfew."

Jaehyun gasps, checking the time on his watch. When he sees that he still has more than adequate time to get home, he shoots a weak glare at Taeyong. "Hyung, you're the worst."

Taeyong laughs, head tilted and eyes crinkling delightfully. "Let's go."


	7. bergamot and cedarwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between being "Super" and "human" is Jaehyun, who finds himself feeling a little lost at the end of their Neo City the Origin tour in Canada.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this prompt](https://curiouscat.me/n_kei/post/879453498). For those who don't know, during NCT 127's Neo City the Origin concert, there is a section in Angel where Taeyong raps while walking towards Jaehyun, who plays along as fan service. I've taken some liberties with this, and had fun with the prompt. I hope you like it! <3 Please note that this chapter is unrelated to anything else I've written for this touring era. Each chapter is a stand-alone story.
> 
> Special thanks to [ephe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephers), for being an awesome human being <3
> 
> Additional tags: Neo City the Origin in Vancouver, introspection, confessions, hints of lemon

The hotel room smells distinctly like fire logs. It should be the last thing on anyone’s mind to stay at a place with a slow incineration scent, but Jaehyun guesses this must be what people look for when they stay at the scenic shoreline of Vancouver. Escaping from something, perhaps reality, with a denial that crawls into insanity.

It was no surprise that when their concert wrapped up in Los Angeles, there was a collective sigh of relief from everyone. Canada meant less promoting, less dealing with people, and more time to rest. Dry rehearsals were quick and painless, their stage set up was the same, the setlist the same. Everything was the same for what they had been doing down at the States except for one small detail.

It was already revealed in Toronto what they were going to do. During ‘Angel’, instead of walking and singing with Jaehyun, Taeyong would be going to Mark instead. He would walk past Jaehyun, shower Mark with affection, then turn back and walk to his seat. Then Yuta would burst across the stage, up the stairs to rub cheeks with Mark, because Mark was the highlight of this leg of the tour. He was the Canadian representative, even though Jaehyun was crowned the rep for Toronto.

Jaehyun was not angry. He really wasn't. But in Toronto, when Taeyong walked past him to Mark he felt…

A little lost.

•••

It's nearing the end of their Vancouver stage. Jaehyun feels his energy slipping, his focus dimming. He hasn’t slept well for the past two weeks, and it’s taking a toll. Or that’s what he tells himself; it’s fatigue, and not because Taeyong had skipped he and Mark altogether to go to Johnny. That wasn’t in the rundown at all. Taeyong just did whatever he wanted again–

“Snap out of it,” he mutters to himself, wiping his face with a white towel and ignoring the smear of makeup. He’s about to change into their Superhuman t-shirt for their encore stage, and his stylist is on him the next instant, fixing his makeup.

"You okay?" Haneul-noona asks, pressing the makeup brush up the side of his face to fill in the spots where his sweat had washed off.

He cards his hair back. "Just tired," he admits quietly.

She hums with a quiet consideration in her eyes, and Jaehyun thinks that it isn’t just him, everyone has been more on the edge lately. "It's almost over. Hang in there, yeah?”

“I’ll try,” he forces a smile that comes out more like a twitch of lips. She’s seen that look before.

“You can talk to the managers about this, you know.” She nods at him through the mirror.

Jaehyun pauses mid-step from peeling his sweaty shirt off. “I don’t know if it’s worth the escalation.”

“If it bothers you this much, it’s worth the escalation.” She shrugs, handing him his t-shirt and a towel. He accepts it gratefully. “We’re not blind. We watch the playback of the performance in the backstage too.”

Deep worry sinks into Jaehyun’s eyes. “But no one’s brought it up.”

“We trusted that you would eventually work things out on your own. Interfering would feel tacky.” She wrinkles her nose at the sweaty towel he throws onto the backrest of the chair. It hits the leather with a wet _thlop_. “Just think about it, yeah?”

“Thanks, Haneul-noona.”

“Now get back out there, you have a show to finish!"

“Yes ma’am.”

Jaehyun darts back out on stage, just before the slowest Jungwoo comes back as well, then everyone pulls in for the final two songs, Summer 127 and 0 Mile.

When it was time to make their closing commentary, Mark lets out a sniffle that everyone caught. Ever the overreacting parent, Johnny immediately jumps on him to coo and baby him, before signalling everyone else to join in. Donghyuck takes the opportunity to ruffle his blond locks to and fro until it becomes a messy bird's nest perched on his head. Mark barks out indignant gibberish and pushes them away, to everyone's amusement.

Jaehyun watches the scenes unfold wearing a small, detached smile. He strides over to Mark, giving him a final pat on the back, then goes back to his spot at centre stage. They wrap up eventually, taking one last group photo before ducking out of the venue and into backstage. An emptiness begins to settle in Jaehyun's stomach. He pushes it down.

There is a celebration with cake and champagne in the change rooms. It should be a happy, loud affair, but it comes out rushed and a little unfulfilling. Though that might just be how Jaehyun feels. Once or twice Doyoung approaches him with a question in his eyes, but he dismisses it quickly with a small, reassuring smile. Finally, everyone bid their final goodbyes to the Vancouver team, and drag their feet towards their tour bus. This isn’t the one they took across the States, it doesn’t have decals or anything, but Jaehyun feels an immediate warmth of familiarity when he sees it anyway.

Half an hour before they get back to the hotel, then there will be peace and quiet.

He sighs, pressing his heated forehead on the window and closing his eyes. The cool is immediate and soothing, but not for long. And he still has to deal with the annoyance that is gnawing through his stomach. He needs some time to himself. But when will they ever have time?

After Vancouver is Mexico. After Mexico are Superhuman promotions back in South Korea. Then they will be going to California, Thailand and Russia. It will be at least another month and a half of this constant travelling, constant practicing, constant working. The only silver lining is that Superhuman promotions will be at home, where Jaehyun can go home and see his parents if he wishes. Where food, sights, smells and sounds are familiar. Where he doesn’t have to be alert and using so much of his brain to learn, translate, socialize and simply  _be_.

He … misses home.

With a sigh, he follows Mark into their room, only to see Donghyuck already sprawled on Mark’s bed, and Jaehyun thinks it’s adorable in a way, that they have each other for support. Normally Donghyuck would be in his room with Johnny, on his laptop playing a game. But his eyes are bright tonight, filled with a concoction of emotions. One glance at Mark confirms that he wears the same expression as well.

They huddle on their bed and Mark takes out his phone.

“I’m calling my parents,” he explains with a shy grin.

Donghyuck waves his hand at Jaehyun, who inclines his head.

“I’m going to wash up first,” Jaehyun calls out.

Mark nods, already pressing buttons on his phone. Donghyuck frowns and cocks his head, but Jaehyun shakes his head and steps into the bathroom. He inhales deeply, then sighs. With practiced motion, he takes out the contacts in his eyes, pulls on his hair band, and washes the makeup off of his face. After a quick inspection, he steps into the shower and scrubs off the sweat and grime. His tense, overworked muscles don’t soften under the water, but it hasn’t in weeks.

He lets out another sigh before rinsing the suds out of his hair, rinsing off the dead skin, and staring up at the ceiling of the stall for a long moment.

_Can he handle more of this? Years of this?_

It’s a question he’s scared to find an answer for, for what it might mean for him and the team.

A world tour is understandably stressful, but they’ve been handling it so well, so incredibly well for them.

And really, who are they anyway? They debuted three years ago and in a mere three years, produced more songs and performed more stages than any other group of their kind. These achievements can be credited to their label and entertainment company. EXO had paved the way for them. Their facilities would not be the same caliber if it weren’t for them. It doesn’t demean their success, it just means they had started out closer to success than other groups had. They still slaved, tirelessly day in and out, to get to where they are now.

In the same way a well off child is on a path to easier success, it doesn’t mean they did not work hard for their achievements, because the system is cruel and fair. If you are not accepted among the masses, you will fail regardless of your background and upbringing.

But Jaehyun feels lost. Regardless of how many lives he’d touched, how many shining eyes he’d seen in the audiences, he feels lost. The feeling was muted in Korea because he was in familiar territory. He lived in comfort, even if there were people who constantly followed him around, capturing his every move with their gigantic cameras. Home was home.

But out here, where everything is new and different but still somehow kind of familiar, Jaehyun struggles to find somewhere he can simply rest and be himself. The hotel rooms are comfortable, but they’re not the same. He’s lacking… solitude.

He should take a walk.

With his mind made, he quickly dries himself off, pulling on a pair of soft sweatpants and simple black hoodie and ankle socks. He ducks his head into the main area, where Donghyuck and Mark are still recounting stories to Mark’s mother over the video call, and shuffles in to say a quick hi.

“Hey auntie, hope you’re doing well!” He flashes a quick dimpled smile, and Mark’s mother waves back two seconds later, smile warm and genuine.

"Hey Jaehyun, hope you're doing well. Congratulations on finishing the Canadian concerts!"

"Thanks, auntie." He turns to the two boys. "I'm going to head out for a bit."

“Hyung, where are you going?” Donghyuck implores, concern reflected in his voice.

“Just taking a walk. Are you going to sleep over tonight?”

“If I fall asleep before I wash up,” Donghyuck answers with a sheepish chuckle.

Mark snorts. “Just stay over, I’m sure Johnny-hyung would appreciate the alone time. Less noise and all.”

“Hey now-”

At the mention of Johnny’s name, Jaehyun’s stomach clenches. When he realizes why, he lets out a quiet air of frustration and hastily tugs on his favourite jean jacket. Making sure that he pockets a hotel key card, he calls over his shoulder to the boys, “Don’t stay up too late.”

“You too, hyung. Come back soon.”

Pulling on his black leather vans, he makes a vague sound in the back of his throat and goes out the door. The hotel hallway is long and empty, and Jaehyun quickly and quietly sneaks out before any of the managers stick their head out and catch him hightailing it. He wouldn’t get into trouble, per se, but they were under strict rules to not wander off alone.

But Jaehyun needs to be alone.

He pushes his hair back, and pulls the hood over his head. He’s not sure if anyone will be around to take pictures, but he doesn’t take the chance. Fans travel to see them. Sasaengs can and do, too.

There are multiple back doors to the hotel, that is more of a resort than a hotel, and the area is surrounded by a dainty park, parking lot, and buildings further down the road. In front of the hotel however, is a bike and jogging path that rings around the edge of the sea, and something of a sight to behold at night.

There are small specks of light dancing across the surface of the water, and when Jaehyun looks up, he sees planes blinking their red and white lights as they make their way across the sky. Clouds are sparse and light, allowing the stars behind to flicker and exist, unperturbed and perhaps on their last breaths, but still blinking brightly. Jaehyun squeezes his eyes shut, then open again, and quietly treads down the path to the sea.

It is dark, and the path is not very well lit, but that suits Jaehyun just fine. His eyes quickly adjust to the dimmed lighting as he follows the path through a thick shrubbery. The sound of insects wiggling their abdomens and getting ready to retire for the night reminds Jaehyun just how late it is. The path grows into a paved walkway that leads to the back of an apartment complex, and a park. Jaehyun nears it slowly. It is big, well lit, with two basketball courts and a swing set further down that he can see.

It reminds him of the parks near Han River.

He pulls the jacket tighter around him and continues down the paved road.

He misses home. He didn’t expect to miss home this much. He thought himself more independent by now, but independence does not mean that he no longer wants or needs the connection with his parents. He misses their presence, their padded shuffling, the kitchen sounds, the television.

He misses the smell of home, the warmth of his mother’s hug. He shakes from his thoughts to text to his mother, only to find that he’d forgotten to bring his phone with him. He pauses, weighing whether he really wants to go back and risk getting caught, or just going without. Well. His mother can wait, but he needs to keep walking, keep thinking. He’s not sure if there’s something bigger to this, but he feels there’s something he needs to work out. He resumes his walk.

He briefly wonders how he’s going to survive twenty one months in the military. Every man does it, so he knows it’s just a matter of biting the bullet and going through with it. Maybe in seven years, at (Korean) age 30, he’ll be okay with entering the military. But he worries, like he does a lot of things, about how it’ll play out. What will NCT become in seven years?

He knows of the inevitable. There will be less group releases, less group promotional work, less of them being together. He knows the next generation of SM entertainers will shine more brightly than the current one, though they have massive shoes to fill. He knows the legacy he and NCT will leave behind will be massive, and knows with certainty that with their experimentation, these are shoes that perhaps no other group  _can_  fill. They are the one and only.

It warms somewhere in his stomach when he thinks of this.

What NCT has is so special and so uniquely themselves, that there can be no other. By extension, what he has with his teammates is something special and unique, it’s an irreplaceable part of him. And he loves them. He really, genuinely does. It comes from a place in his heart that has nothing but love, respect and support for these… brothers.

Brothers. Right.

Jaehyun sighs, digging his hands deeper in his pockets.

Of course they’re brothers. It is arguably the closest relationship a man can be in without being in a romantic relationship, or related by blood. Jaehyun would be honoured to be introduced as a brother to his teammates’ family and close friends. All, except for one.

There is nothing platonic about how he feels for Taeyong. Especially not at the height of his emotions. He used to naturally turn to Taeyong when the other man so much as exists in the same room. It got to a point where Johnny confronted Jaehyun after NCT’s Night Night, asking if he’d do something about his emotions. Jaehyun hadn’t realized he was that obvious.

But homosexual relationships are not accepted in Korean society. There is not enough push for equality. He cannot do anything about his feelings because he can't be selfish. There is no way he would put his sexual preference above NCT, above his closest friends.

So he reeled in, under control and under the radar.

It started, on and off, during Cherry Bomb promotions. But when they were out of the limelight, Jaehyun relaxed a little, became himself again. But whenever there was a camera in the same room, he would tell himself to not be so obvious, not let anything show. He remembers sometimes, forgets others. But he always tries for the former.

It’s one thing to like your teammate, another altogether to be openly flirting.

There is a reason he no longer plays along with Taeyong’s fan service during Angel, especially during their stages in North America. It's painful, to have what he wants dangling in front of him, but having no way to get it. So, eventually, he's come to terms with it as a means to protect himself. He no longer wants to be known as a couple with Taeyong, doesn’t want to be seen as the pairing that will volunteer fan service. If his managers ask him about it, he'll say that he was never comfortable with physical contact, even with his closest friends.

Only it never happened. The moment he stopped trying, Taeyong immediately caught on and toned down his natural physical contact. It became an awkward reach of emotions, though nothing catches, nothing is received. Taeyong gives Jaehyun his space, and Jaehyun ignores how his heart beat drowns out the cheering around them, muffling everything and making him feel lightheaded.

No one talked about it the next day, or even during the following dry rehearsals. There was a question in Donghyuck's gaze, but he ignores it. He ignores Mark too, deciding that this would be it. This would would be good enough to stave of whatever he needs to stave off, give him whatever distance he needs to function properly.

There is no other way.

But when Taeyong decides to skip him and move onto Mark and Johnny, he began to regret. It came so surprisingly that he was frozen with a smile on his face, watching the small screen of playback from over Doyoung’s shoulder, and trying to not flinch when Taeyong placed his hand over Johnny’s holding it in place for beats before walking away again.

It’s okay, he told himself, he wouldn’t have been able to do that with Taeyong. They needed some fan service in this segment. Either Mark or Johnny would have sufficed.

 _But it wasn’t him_ , a small voice echoed in the back of his head. He pushed it back with determination, slamming the door shut. He didn't need that input, damnit.

He sighs, marinating in his morose mood and failing to hear quickened footsteps approaching him from behind.

"Jaehyun-"

A hand pulls him backwards, but Jaehyun's quick reflexes flips the hold of the perpetrator, twisting and pinning his right hand across his back-- Then he recognizes the scent of the hotel, mixed with something floral and sweet and  _Taeyong_ , and immediately lets go.

"Shit, sorry."

Taeyong lets out a low groan as Jaehyun’s grip loosens. There’s a deep wince set in his brows, and Jaehyun is immediately reminded of how Taeyong had favoured his right arm for a week now, ever since he fell on it during rehearsal of Cherry Bomb in San Jose. “Ow, oh wow, I thought I was going to lose an arm.”

Jaehyun steps close, hovering a hand on Taeyong’s shoulder, but not quite sure how to check to see if he broke anything. “Sorry hyung, I didn’t know it was you.”

Taeyong grunts and cradles his arm around his middle for a moment, moving his fingers one by one. Jaehyun looks down at his hand, then back up at his face, then down again. “Is anything broken?”

Then Taeyong throws his hand in Jaehyun’s face, who reels back quickly, losing his balance. He catches himself in time, but Taeyong’s already doubling over in laughter. He feels his face burn up and growls under his breath, wiping his hands on his pants. Stupid prankster.

Just like old times.

“You should’ve seen the look on your face!” Taeyong wheezes, holding onto Jaehyun’s arm for support as he clutches onto his stomach. There’s a glisten of a tear in the corner of his eye.

“It’s not funny to joke around like that, hyung.” Jaehyun peels away from Taeyong, but the older man’s grip on his arm doesn’t give. He’s still laughing.

“Stop trying to make me fall!”

“I’m not. You can stand by yourself,” Jaehyun grumbles, miffed.

“You almost broke my arm, the least you can do is help me stand.”

“I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.”

The snickers quiet down eventually. Jaehyun keeps a baleful but watchful eye on Taeyong to make sure he’s really okay, and not just pretending that pain doesn’t exist. It’s dark, but he doesn’t see anymore wincing, so he sighs and slowly lets go of Taeyong. “What are you doing here?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question? You went off on your own without your cell phone. Something could’ve happened.” Jaehyun levels Taeyong with a pointed look, then he glances at his arm again. Taeyong huffs. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t aware your self-defense and sparring classes were this effective.”

Jaehyun sighs softly. “Is your arm really okay? That was supposed to hurt.”

“I’m okay. Remind me to not jump you in the dark.”

“You should never jump me anywhere, hyung.”

“Pft. You’re no fun, what happened to the old Jaehyun?”

The question is unexpected. It’s a light comment, but it tears a hole across Jaehyun’s guilt anyway. He knows it’s unfair to suddenly withdraw his attentions and affections for Taeyong, who all but preens off of the validation from others. But for his own sanity…

“I was just kidding.” Taeyong breezes past with a small smile. They start walking again, and a silence falls on them. It isn’t the type where Jaehyun feels compelled to say something to fill it, but it isn’t comfortable either.

“What were you thinking about?”

“Thinking?”

“You don’t take walks in the middle of the night and not have something on your mind.”

“I’ve done that before though-”

“Yeah, playing basketball to get your mind  _off of something_ , which, by the way, you will never mention the score to anyone because you were clearly cheating.”

Jaehyun snorts, biting back a smirk at the memory. “But I wasn’t cheating, hyung. You couldn’t even get one hoop in while I sank free throw after free throw-”

“Yeah, because I was listening to you rant about how stupid your friend was, so I was reasonably distracted from helping shoulder your problems-”

“That’s a lie. You’re just bad at basketball.”

“Not everyone is good at basketball, okay? You don’t see me talking about your short lived rapping career.”

“Wow, that’s a low blow.”

Jaehyun turns to see the corners of Taeyong’s mouth twitching upwards, and feels a lightness in his chest.

“I’ll take it. At least I won.”

“So competitive, hyung.”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

Jaehyun lets out a soft snort; it doesn’t feel right to be loud. “I just don’t like to lose.”

Taeyong also lowers his voice. “Does anyone ever? You don’t accept loss even when it’s at your door.”

“I accept some things. But not those I can change.”

Taeyong snorts, shoving his hands into his pocket. “Everything changes in time. Accepting something for what they are now doesn’t mean that you can’t also accept something when they change. Humans are wonderfully capable of adapting, that’s pretty much the only reason why we still exist.”

Jaehyun hums quietly. “This is becoming a little philosophical.”

“But I’m not wrong, am I?”

“I suppose not.”

“I’ve spent a lot of time thing about this. Sometimes, when someone changes, it isn’t always for the worst. It takes time accepting the change. But at the end of the day, it’s not really up to me to figure out whether it’s good or bad, it’s just something I need to let go of and see how it plays out.”

“... are we still talking about basketball and rap?”

Taeyong smirks. “We could be.”

“Hyung.”

There’s something in Jaehyun’s tone that stops Taeyong in his tracks. “What?”

“Were you the only one who came out to look for me?”

“Yeah, the others are already sleeping. It’s almost 1am.” Taeyong frowns, checking his watch. “Nevermind, it’s five past now.”

Jaehyun chews on his bottom lip, looking away to the stars and the sea. Is it just him or does everything look a bit darker? “You could’ve just asked Yongjae-hyung to find me. The path doesn’t diverge, and I don’t stray.”

Taeyong rolls his eyes. “Yongjae-hyung is _tired_ , and he doesn’t know that you don’t stray.”

Jaehyun shrugs evasively. “Still, it’d be easy to find me.”

Letting out an irritated sigh, Taeyong stops Jaehyun with a hand on his arm. They look at each other for a moment before Taeyong opens his mouth. “Look, do you want me to just leave you to stew in your thoughts? Because I can do that. Just take my phone. You shouldn’t have gone anywhere without yours in the first place. Even Mark and Donghyuck were worried.”

Remembering the brightness in Mark’s eyes before he left, Jaehyun grins wryly. “Heh. Was Mark crying?”

Taeyong’s eyes soften a little. “Yeah. His parents were really happy for him.”

“They should be. Mark has put so much of his life into this, to us. He deserves the cheering, the love.”

They remember the episode in unison, where Mark came back from their first win with Regular bearing unshed tears, and a heart full of gratitude. “Yeah, he just hides his appreciation really well.”

“Or maybe he’s too shocked to react. That’s more like him.”

"True."

They lull into a beat of silence, when Taeyong is searching something in Jaehyun’s eyes, and Jaehyun feels something in him crumble. They haven’t spent this much time alone in a while. There was always something to do, someone to put between them. But now that it is just the two of them, Jaehyun feels his palms grow damp.

“Hyung, I-”  
“If you-”

Taeyong smiles wryly, and Jaehyun nods with a look of resolution in his eyes. “You first.”

“I… okay. I was just going to say that you shouldn’t avoid the topic. If you want to be alone, I’ll leave you with my phone and go back.”

Jaehyun shakes his head, replying softly, “I wasn’t trying to.”

“I know. Mark usually only gets emotional in private company.”

“And I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. But yeah, that.”

“It’s a moment to celebrate, not dwell in the past.”

“I… yeah. I know. And I-”

Words run dry, because Jaehyun really doesn’t know the answer to Taeyong’s question. Because shrouded in darkness, with only the moon and stars and an occasional lamp post lighting the path, the conversation feels personal. Time feels slower. Emotions feel… real. Jaehyun realizes he’s been denying himself a happiness, to be who he is, to be happy because of Taeyong.

This realization comes like a wave that collides into his chest, knocking the wind out of his lungs, just for a little while. But he’s coming to his senses when Taeyong stares at him with growing concern in his eyes. Right, words.

“You can stay,” he clears his throat, feeling the dryness. “if you’d like.”

Despite his neutral expression, there’s an immediate spark of something behind Taeyong’s eyes. “Are you sure?”

Jaehyun nods, hazarding a crooked smile. “I could use some company.”

Taeyong grins widely, the light in his eyes twinkling like the stars above them. “You were walking this way, right? Let’s go!”

Jaehyun snorts quietly. “There’s no hurry, hyung.”

“Haha, sorry. Just excited. It’s been a while since we spent some alone time together.”

“It has.”

“So, have you been keeping in touch with Sicheng?”

“We talk on occasion. You know how he gets. If I leave you on read for a week before replying (“Oh my god you admitted to this! I should’ve recorded you-”), he’d go for a month, no, months before he replies.”

Taeyong laughs, tilting his head a little and eyes rounded like crescents. There are tints of pink on his cheeks, like he’s cold– he’s only wearing a t-shirt. Jaehyun almost feels bad. Taeyong probably left the hotel room in a haste to get to him, forgoing his jacket completely. And he had the gall to lecture him about his cell phone. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”

“Are you cold?”

“No.”

“Are you lying?”

“...no.”

Taeyong eats a mouthful of jean jacket a second later.

“You don’t need to be cold to wear a jean jacket, right?”

“...I guess not.”

Taeyong pulls on the jacket without hesitation, and Jaehyun's face finally breaks into a soft grin.

They walk in a companionable silence for a long time, each in their thoughts, without the pressure to make conversation. This is starting to feel familiar.

“Man, this vaguely reminds me of Han river. Especially the park back there, with the basketball courts and all.” Taeyong sniffs, grinning so fondly Jaehyun hears the smile on his face without turning to look at him. “Except it’s not as dark in Seoul.”

Jaehyun ducks his head, smiling indulgently. “Yeah, I had similar thoughts.”

“It’s been so long. I don’t know if I’ve ever been away from home, from my parents and Ruby for this long. I miss them.”

“I miss home too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I can’t wait to go back and see my family, sleep on my own bed, eat the dorm auntie’s food-”

“Oh my god, yes. I miss dorm auntie so much. I can’t wait to see her.”

Jaehyun chuckles softly. “You’ve got some souvenirs for her, right?”

It takes Taeyong a minute to reply. When Jaehyun looks over to check on him, Taeyong is staring at him with a kind of wide-eyed, disbelieving look.

“What?”

“I-nothing. It’s… yeah, it’s been a while for many things.” Taeyong doesn’t say that it’s been a while since Jaehyun laughed from his heart in his company. The smile still graces Jaehyun’s face, and it’s more than enough to see the younger man happy. “Anyway! What were you going to say just now?”

“Hm?”

“Before I talked about leaving you be to your depressing thoughts. You were going to say something.”

Jaehyun looks away. “I was… thinking.”

Taeyong hums teasingly. “Yeah, we’ve established that.”

Ignoring his tease, Jaehyun pushes on. “Hyung, I’m sorry about my performance in Angel. I should’ve talked to you about it first, but I just, I don’t know why I couldn’t.”

Taeyong stops walking now, and Jaehyun follows a split second later. Taeyong looks at him with a kind of pained expression in his eyes. But this is the hardest part, to look at those eyes and admit wrongdoing.

“Couldn’t talk to me? Or couldn’t play along with the fan service?”

Jaehyun sucks in a shallow breath, feeling a little light-headed. “Both.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry for both.” Jaehyun takes the time to choose the right words in his mind before speaking. “I wanted to talk to you about it. I know I could blame this on our busy schedules, but that wasn’t it. I felt terrible, feeling that way. I just didn’t know what to say.”

Taeyong’s brows furrow into a deep frown. “What do you mean? Were you feeling sick?”

Jaehyun shakes his head quickly. “No, not that. I was. I felt.” He catches the concern in Taeyong’s eyes and the words die in his throat. God. How bad would it be to confess. To tell him his true feelings. To start this over again, knowing that it would come to the same result– but. But what if it doesn’t? Honesty is the best policy, right?

Jaehyun takes a steadying breath, and continues. “I like you, hyung.”

Taeyong pulls back.

“I never hated you. I never hated your touch. I was just confused. I knew you were like this with everyone, but I felt. I felt comforted by you. I liked it when you– no, I liked when it was you.” Jaehyun feels a deep red bloom across his cheeks and ducks his head, unable to hold the intense, dark gaze of Taeyong anymore. “I just didn’t know what to do. I thought about our future, I thought about what it meant for us to keep going, then I couldn’t keep up the act after that.”

“The act?”

“For Angel. To look at you, to respond to you. I know it’s fan service, but I can’t seem to remove my, me.” His hand falls on his chest, a motion Taeyong follows with his eyes. “I just couldn’t do it.”

Taeyong's expression changes from confusion to something with more clarity, like he’s finally understanding. “You couldn’t do fan service because you liked my touch?”

Jaehyun runs a shaky hand through his pink, unruly locks. “Yes, I’m. God I’m really messing this up.”

Taeyong takes a small step forward. “Wait, you just said you liked it when it was me. You liked me. You like me?”

“I like you. I like you a lot–” Jaehyun’s voice cracks a little, but he’s beyond caring. “Yes, I like you.”

“Okay. Um, wow, okay.”

Before Jaehyun realizes what’s happening, Taeyong collides into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly, just shy of pain, around his middle. He nearly wheezes. “Hyung?”

“I thought you hated me. That’s why you went and avoided me, even if it wasn’t in Angel. If it was the performance, I get it. I know you, you don’t like fan service, you like to keep your personal space clean of human contact. But you were avoiding me. You probably don’t even realize, do you?"

Jaehyun blinks. Had he? He might’ve steered away from Taeyong when he started talking, whether it was about group or individual schedules. He knew he could get this information from his stylist-noona after anyway. It would be better than sitting there watching Taeyong go through the rundown with his manager and the rest of the team. He’s taken to playing with Mark’s elbow skin while Mark plays with his, twirling Donghyuck’s fluffy locks loosely around his finger, smiling gratefully when Doyoung or Johnny offers to look after something, joking around with Yuta, Jungwoo, or Taeil…

He _had_ been avoiding Taeyong, hadn’t he?

“You idiot. It’s all over your stupid face. You stupid, stupid–” Jaehyun breaks from Taeyong’s grip and roughly pulls the shorter man into his arms, crushing their chests together. Taeyong laughs, bright and genuine, and burrows his face in the crook of Jaehyun’s neck. “You idiot.”

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

“Just don’t do something like this again. Fuck, you had me worried. You had the whole team worried. I couldn’t even talk to Sicheng because he’s not around, and you only open up to him.”

There’s an edge of well-worn bitterness in his voice, and Jaehyun pulls back, affecting a look of apology on his face. “I’m sorry.”

Taeyong narrows his eyes. “You should be. You didn’t talk to Johnny either, and you’ve gone on dates to Ikea together. Did you know that was a couple test? Leaving Ikea with your relationship intact?”

Jaehyun smiles crookedly. “Hyung, that only works if you’re already in a relationship. Johnny-hyung and I aren’t like that.”

“I know. I know that now–”

“I like you, hyung.”

“I–”

The air freezes between them. Then a second look of clarity dawns on Taeyong’s face.

“Oh, right.”

“This isn’t how confessions are supposed to go, are they?” Jaehyun ducks his head sheepishly, avoiding Taeyong’s glowing eyes to rest his head on Taeyong’s shoulder instead. “I’m messing this up so bad. But hyung.”

Taeyong knows what Jaehyun wants to say. There’s an expectant flash of hope in his voice, and Taeyong knows what Jaehyun doesn’t say. Doesn’t ask. He inhales deeply. “Can you give me some time to think about this?”

Jaehyun shakes his head resolutely, taking a step back to break their embrace. “You don’t need to say anything. I didn’t say this because I wanted something from you. I just, the performance–”

Taeyong steps forward, tightening his hold around Jaehyun’s waist. He holds Jaehyun’s gaze with shaky control. “I know, and you’ll hear it from the managers, from Lee Sooman-seonsaengnim. But I,” he takes a deep breath, and Jaehyun steels his back for whatever answer he’ll get. “I don’t know. I’ll need a moment.”

It’s the answer Jaehyun expects. He nods, but he doesn't step back. The ball is still in Taeyong’s court. He can see that Taeyong is still working something out, thoughts flashing across his eyes, and he doesn’t want to interrupt.

It takes a few minute, but when Taeyong comes to, the air changes around them. He looks at Jaehyun with steady eyes, and inches his face closer. Jaehyun’s eyes widen.

“Hyung?”

“I’m going to kiss you,” Taeyong whispers softly, eyes searching as he leans even closer, “so if you don’t want this, now is the time to say.”

Jaehyun doesn’t wait before closing the distance, crushing their lips together and feeling the body in his arms freeze from the shock. Taeyong comes back a second later, moving his lips insistently against Jaehyun’s and letting out a soft moan from the back of his throat. Jaehyun feels the sound rumble through his chest before it registers in his ears, and squeezes his eyes shut.

It’s a little uncomfortable because Taeyong’s teeth is caught in between, so he holds Jaehyun’s face in his hands before drawing back a little. “So eager,” he teases.

Jaehyun sees the stars twinkling in Taeyong’s eyes and feels his knees grow weak. “Hyung, please.”

Taeyong presses close again, slower and more gently, capturing the soft lips between his. He moves languidly, unhurried, kissing and nipping and licking– to Jaehyun’s surprised inhale– before gaining entrance and pushing his tongue in to taste.

Clean and minty. Jaehyun had washed up before coming out.

In response, Jaehyun pushes more urgently against him, lapping and drinking his hyung, committing these emotions to memory. His heart soars after being repressed for so long, expanding tightly in his chest that makes him choke back a sob. The slow burning that threatened to consume him is doused out and replaced with something cool and light and suffocatingly sweet. He’s wanted this. He’s dreamed of this. But he never thought he’d get this.

He groans into the kiss, tightening his hold around Taeyong because he can’t get enough of the man. His smell, the feeling of his body in his arms, his warmth, his sounds; his everything. Jaehyun wants more.

They break apart for air, and Jaehyun whines into Taeyong’s neck, dotting butterfly kisses under his ear down to his clavicle, before sniffling back up to the sharp jawline, then higher to his lips again. “...more.”

Taeyong, eyes closed and enjoying the sensations at his bared neck with growing interest, raises an eyebrow in muddled emotions. “Hm?”

Jaehyun kisses him again. Slow and needy.

“I like you, I like you so much hyung.” He whispers into the lips, breaking apart and capturing them in a series of catches and licks. “God, I was so stupid I’m so sorry.”

Taeyong shushes him with a fierce kiss, which he immediately responds to with fervor. Then Taeyong brings it down a notch, kissing hard, but not as urgently. This continues until their kisses become soft and unhurried again, then Taeyong pulls back.

“You’re an idiot. But it’s okay, we’ll work it out.” He licks a stripe down Jaehyun’s neck, and Jaehyun shivers delightfully against him. “Is there still something on your mind?”

It’s a redundant question, because they can feel each other through the restriction of their pants, but Jaehyun knows this is just how Taeyong is. He takes care of everyone emotionally, spiritually before he takes care of himself physically. Still, he doesn’t pass up on the joke.

“Is hyung putting out on the first night?”

The smack on his ass is well deserved. He has no regrets.

“What about you, hyung?”

“I do… have a question.”

“Hm?”

“Were you jealous of Mark and Johnny?”

Jaehyun sucks in a breath, ducking his head a little. “I wasn’t.”

Taeyong hums, like he’s expected as much. He’s about to open his mouth to suggest that they should go back, but Jaehyun continues, “I just wished that it were me you went to.”

Taeyong stills, staring at Jaehyun with a kind of shock, who smiles a little crookedly before pulling away. But before he does, he slots their hands together, fingers intertwining, and tugs at Taeyong to walk with him.

They make their way back to Taeyong’s solo bedroom without much talking. Their clothes are shed and discarded on the floor, and they spend the next few hours sweetly exploring each other’s bodies. They try to keep quiet, because Doyoung and Johnny have already proven how thin the walls are, but when they wake up the next morning, Jaehyun sees a text from Donghyuck with three loud volume speaker emojis on Taeyong’s phone, and breaks into a quiet laugh anyway.

Taeyong makes a soft, questioning sound beside him, to which he responds by curling back up behind his hyung, wrapping an arm securely around his middle while pressing closer still. “It’s nothing.”

“Mmh, what time is it?”

Jaehyun checks Taeyong’s phone. “We have another hour before morning call.”

“Mm...”

“Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming out to find me last night.”

Taeyong wiggles closer to Jaehyun’s warm body, unintentionally cushioning a specific area of interest against another area. Jaehyun feels himself grow hard again, despite the two slow, sweet, non-penetrative rounds (because they have to walk the next day) they’ve completed only a few hours ago.

“Just don’t do something stupid again, like taking a walk alone past midnight without your phone, but I accept your gratitude. Now, stop talking and let me have my last hour of sleep.”

Jaehyun snickers lowly, trailing a lazy kiss down Taeyong’s nape. His hand travels down the flat plane of Taeyong’s belly to somewhere lower. Taeyong hisses softly when he finds his target, wrapping a hand loosely around him. “That’s not what your body is saying.”

Taeyong growls, attempting (and failing) to pull Jaehyun's hand away. “My body is stupid, just like you. Go back to sleep or leave my room.”

“I’d say it’s pretty smart, and very nice to look at. So yes, just like me.” Jaehyun narrowly avoids a smack on his butt by flipping away. Taeyong cracks open one tired eye to level him with a glare that is more of immense satisfaction than anger, and Jaehyun smiles widely. “But I don’t want to leave your room, so sleep it is.”

Taeyong grumbles a half-hearted complaint about cotton candy boys, and Jaehyun affects a comment like ‘that was you during Cherry Bomb’. At this point, Taeyong is beyond caring to win this argument, so Jaehyun lets it be. Inhaling the soft scent of lavender and and firewood on the bedsheets and pillows, he follows Taeyong into the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> [tw](https://twitter.com/pnkpxls) | [cc](http://curiouscat.me/n_kei)


End file.
